Searching for Self

Please escape from my lips
All anger and negativity
Once gone stay away
Invigorate my soul
With sweet searching
Looking for myself
In a pile of coins
In a fountain
Each one holding
A dear wish
Some coming true
Like my wish for love
On my birthday candles
A year ago
Yet something more occurred
I cannot erase or understand
A full time mistake
Left pieces for me to pick up
A wide variety of painful prickers
Digging and boring into  my skin
Nevermore to be free
Locked in I once was
But now that I have freedom
I do not use it for its full advantage
I give give give
Only to be taken again and again
So please if you understand
How to get ME back
Please let me know
Give me that final courtesy
For I feel alone amongst strangers
Even my own friends
I do not know an ending
I feel a beginning of sorts
Of change

© Jessica Brooke 1/16/14