Tip Toeing

Tender moments
Of just wishing
Wondering and
Waylaying for
Some answer
Some rhyme or reason
For future truths
Lying underneath the past
Suffocating
Yet as I smother
I breathe deep
Reminding myself
I am here
Maybe not where
I really want to be now
But I woke up alive
A new moment begins
I realize I create my future
Only I can change myself
I cannot depend on others
Embarking on a new mission
To be more kind to some
Stay the same to others
As I relax and realize the cause
That began the effect
Of a temper born by a man
Who was supposed to protect me
Yet failed in every way
Betrayed and overstepped
Every boundary
Yet I must stop languishing
In the past
Tip toeing in the future
While I should do the opposite
In the present I am just here
I want to have my old life back
So I resolve to be better
Hoping I can hang on


(c) Jessica Brooke 1/18/14

Searching for Self

Please escape from my lips
All anger and negativity
Once gone stay away
Invigorate my soul
With sweet searching
Looking for myself
In a pile of coins
In a fountain
Each one holding
A dear wish
Some coming true
Like my wish for love
On my birthday candles
A year ago
Yet something more occurred
I cannot erase or understand
A full time mistake
Left pieces for me to pick up
A wide variety of painful prickers
Digging and boring into  my skin
Nevermore to be free
Locked in I once was
But now that I have freedom
I do not use it for its full advantage
I give give give
Only to be taken again and again
So please if you understand
How to get ME back
Please let me know
Give me that final courtesy
For I feel alone amongst strangers
Even my own friends
I do not know an ending
I feel a beginning of sorts
Of change

© Jessica Brooke 1/16/14